Ladies, Form an Orderly Queue

It's 9.30 am on a Saturday and I'm standing outside Oxfam on Dublin's George's Street. Despite being up unusually early for a weekend, I'm smug in the knowledge that I am first in what is a queue of one. Each minute that passes increases my excitement and any poor sod that loiters near the shop window is subject to an evil stare that says 'Back off bitch!' I missed last Saturday's 10am vintage scrum and the week before. This time I would emerge victorious; and that I did with this green gown in tow for only €45! That's right, I finally bested the vultures at Oxfam's weekly vintage hour. The clever little clogs they are, they put the best original 50s, 60s and 70s frocks in the window from Monday with a sign saying 'Not available for sale until Saturday from 10am-11am'. That's a fairly narrow window of opportunity, dontcha think? Despite my attempts to try and finagle a guna with the whole 'I'm press', 'I'm a stylist', 'I'll be wearing it on da telly!' schtick or sweetening up the old dears at the counter with a donation - they don't budge. It's a non-partisan first in the queue scenario I've been told (repeatedly). Must admit, that's really taking Fairtrade to new levels.