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| Photo courtesy of Lollie Shopping http://www.lollieshopping.com/ |
Saints. They’re a bit like plumbers; there’s never a good one on call when an emergency strikes. God knows the Catholic Church has enough of them. My most recent intercession happened this weekend after losing my deceased father’s Claddagh ring. My most prized possession, something which hasn’t left my right hand for at least twenty-three years, suddenly disappeared when I removed it in a bid to have it cleaned. Leaving it atop my jewellery box (ironic or plain stupid ...take your pick), I found it missing the following day.
After forty-eight hours of cleaning the house, moving furniture, dissecting the vacuum bag and discovering a host of dislodged socks, I gave up. My eldest sister called a family pow wow and came back with some sage advice. “The patron saint of lost items is Saint Anthony,” she advised. “Make sure you pray to him.” I felt decidedly relieved. “But pony up;” she added “he doesn’t work for free.” Really? Since when? I felt cheated but given how upset and desperate I was, I took to St. Teresa’s church next to Brown Thomas. Granted the notes I was shoving into the candle box garnered some strange looks. But hey, this was not a case for loose change folks!
A few prayers and a few days later; nada. I took apart the house again; still nothing. A pressing petition to Saint Jude – chief bottle washer of hopeless causes- and I was still none the wiser. I knew it couldn’t be far; but where? Granted I could call the Psychic Zone on Country FM (don’t judge) but the last time they took my call live on air, I ran out of credit. In fairness, they should have seen it coming. Only divine intervention could help. Given Anto and yer man Jude were on voice mail, I thought I’d hit up some of their mates.
For an industry that attracts its adherents in droves, there sure is a dearth of deities. According to my Google trawls, Saint Severus seems to be the big cheese for drapers, milliners, silk workers, weavers and wool manufacturers. Not exactly my shtick. Then there’s the shoemakers favourite - Saint Crispin. Nah. What about Saint Llucia – guardian of Fashion designers and blind people? Surely I fall into the latter category. Wait! St. Eligius looks after goldsmiths and jewellers. It’s a miracle! Sigh. Let’s hope he takes Laser. I’m bloody skint.
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